𝗠𝗬 𝗨𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗦 𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗡𝗘𝗗 𝗧𝗢 𝗕𝗘𝗔𝗨𝗧𝗬.

With age and experience, I have witnessed numerous storms and seen turbulence. I've lived a bitter-sweet life for whilst I seldom discover a purpose path. Where are those who wish to be like me? Bring the storytelling seat; I have a tale of hidden treasure.

At different times as a child, I've been made to understand that I'm the ugliest in the house. Without controversy, I have queens as sisters.

As kids, being "a little bride" became their thing. They have the sanguine nature which came together with their beauty and placed them before men of enviable repute, captains of industries.  Me, as a Cho-Mel who was told she's ugly, solitude became my companion.

The day I was called to be a little bride, I had an instant fever. I hid under the bed until it passed me by. While others thought it was stage fright, I was battling rejection.

To many, I was beautiful; it never made sense to me because, on a scale of 1-10, I knew my beauty was 2% where my sisters are. This made me always at home including ceremonial days like Christmas, 27th September(my birthday), etc.

A couple of times, I had gone to different gatherings including church and sat behind. When a question is asked, I would whisper the answer to someone who will later be celebrated. 

I had wished to speak to someone about my ordeals and how I didn't deserve them, but the introverted nature in me plus insecurities held me bound.

While it seemed I was the ugliest, I was easily loved by whoever saw me. (I think this is a gift). Come to think of it, what's love from a third party when there's no love from within? I saw everything as an attack. I just felt I didn't deserve anyone's attention.

On one of the funny days, I was spotted out to do something no one got right. I wasn't afraid to come out but I was ashamed of my ugly face. To worsen it, I asked one of my sisters if I was more beautiful than a girl I saw (I wanted an unrealistic hope) but she blotted out: that girl is far more beautiful than you. Her response was profound and it stayed with me for years.

I went back to tell my teachers I can't do what they called me for but I was pushed by a few who believed I could. I made my way to the stage and everyone waited to see what the back-seat girl had to say. When I was done, they were impressed and shocked at the same time.

While looking at the mirror the next morning I said to myself, I may not be beautiful but I'm intelligent. What I lack in beauty, it's in my brains. Haha! I touched my chest and said, your strength is in your brain; rock it!

Consciously and unconsciously, I allowed that into my being. I became lively because I found something unique to hold onto. I could recall I told someone what I lack in looks, I have it upstairs.

To cut the long story short, my focus was switched from beauty to brains. From owning my brilliance, I owned my looks and gradually saw a total transformation.

Surprisingly, I don't find myself ugly anymore because something else became superior. The reason you still wish to be like someone is that you have not switched your focus to something relevant.

You see! Everyone in this terrestrial realm has something unique that will distinguish and position you as a genius. You probably haven't seen it. No! You'd see it but your eyes are still fixed on what you don't have. Can you switch focus for once?

The question isn't why you don't love yourself, it is if you were like me, would you have loved you? You have no idea, dear! I had wished to be like another, but I calmed down and drank from my cup. When I discovered my uniqueness, the game changed!

I have realised every man is on a journey which sometimes, you have no clue of or control over. Notwithstanding, you have your cup to drink from. Stop wishing to be like anyone and start looking inward.

When you find your uniqueness, the game will change. You will find a reason to hold that mic and address millions on stage. You deserve to be heard, don't you?

Your strength is your weapon!

With Love,

Mary Kay.

(Young Adults Ministry)